Miss me but let me go

It’s been a while, a long long while.

My mum was diagnosed with cancer almost three years ago. The previous year my brother was diagnosed with the same condition. She brought him home from London and we spent six months with him before the end.

She spent three years fighting it, battling not just the illness, but the demons that come with it, the pain, the knowledge of the imminent end. And she fought it with the grace, dignity and tenacity that she summoned throughout her life.

She had a good life. And a hard life. With many things in between. A life spent caring for others, friends, family and in social work with struggling families. She travelled to the far flung places she had dreamt of. Towards the end, when she was drifting in and out, she sat up and announced “I got to Egypt you know”. Poland, Auschwitz, Moscow and India too.

I miss you mum.

The last few years have been centred around making sure she was ok, that she had everything she needed. And that she knew she was loved and appreciated.

The only sure thing in life is death. And apparently taxes.

What I learnt from this, is that death is hard. That life is short. Make the most of every single moment.

Here is a poem, chosen for mum’s service.

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no tears in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not too much,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that once we shared,
Miss me, but let me go.

This is a journey we all must take
And each must take alone;
It’s all a part of God’s perfect plan,
A step on the road home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know.
Bury your sorrows doing good,
Miss me, but let me go.

Rest in peace mum : 20th December 1945 to 27th March 2017

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